10 Year Anniversary: The Painting Diary 17 of 30

The Painting Diary: 17 of 30: I Am the Universe, 2016

For this one I started with the title “I Am the Universe”. I wanted to illustrate the idea that any living thing is a microcosm of the whole. I chose a bear standing up because his big broad chest made a nice place to put the universe. And because I love bears. 

At first I thought maybe he would be looking fierce and growling or showing off, but then something told me to make him chill, almost smiling. Much later it occurred to me that this painting is about inner peace, acceptance and confidence and he wouldn’t be roaring but instead would be at peace. I think it’s a self portrait! He’s standing up to better survey his surroundings, and to say: look at me, just hanging out over here, I’m just a bear, just being. The universe has my back and I have nothing to prove. I love the fresh air around here…I’m hungry. 

The color palette and celestial feel in this painting marks a change in direction for me and in the years since my color palette has shifted to more pinks and blues and I have been incorporating stars and planets into my work almost obsessively. This was also the point where I would start painting animals a lot more. 

The portal above his head has been called many things, most commonly ‘space vagina’. It could be that if you want. I told the story before about how that symbol, which appears many times in my art, was from an ayahuasca experience; I saw it as a pure white motionless flame that was representative of my original nature, it was a point of origin, a portal, and yes, a space vagina. I almost painted it out because it takes a lot of attention away from the bear, but decided to leave it because it felt like an important part of the story. 

This was painted live during my second year at Cascadia, and a few hours at Hemp Fest later that year. It’s interesting that I was able to finish the whole painting in three days, considering that it normally took so long to finish anything, and was a generally painful process. This painting was easy and a complete joy to make. I was in a very healthy place when I made this in the summer of 2016…

I Am the Universe, acrylic on board, 2016